You can also use a technique called Focusing, which is great for getting in touch with your body. [3] X Research source Here’s how to do Focusing: Once you’ve cleared the space and asked what’s going on inside you, pay attention to what your body answers with. Don’t try to explore it, just notice it from a distance. For instance, you may feel a tightness in your chest when you ask what’s going on underneath the surface. Notice it from a distance. Put a handle on the sensation. This is usually in the form of a word or short phrase. For instance, you can say “tightness” or “chest pressure” or “tension. " Keep trying words out until it seems to fit the sensation. Go back and forth between the sensation and the word that describes it. Check and see how they interact. See if the body sensation changes a little bit when you have an accurate name for it. Ask yourself what’s causing this sensation. What is it about your life right now that’s causing you to feel tight in your chest? Don’t grasp for an answer, just let the response bubble up. This may not happen the first time. Focusing can take practice, but this is a great series of steps to help you open yourself to your heart and everything that’s going on inside you.
Meditate. There are a number of mental and physical health benefits to meditating, such as lower blood pressure and lower stress. [4] X Research source Try sitting upright for at least 10 minutes in a quiet place. Focus on one thing, such as the sensation of air going in and out of your nostrils, or an object like a pencil. When your attention leaves the object, gently remind yourself to return. Take a long bath. Relaxing in water has similar effects to other relaxation techniques. It’s a great way to wind down. You can use this time to reflect on your life, or just enjoy the silence and sensation of a warm bath. [5] X Research source Have a coffee date with a friend. You may not get to spend as much time catching up with friends as you would like. Use this “you time” to invite a cherished friend to have lunch or coffee with you.
For instance, if you like to read, make sure to allow time for reading in your schedule. Ask your friends for recommendations of good books. A poetry collection can be especially evocative. If you’re more of a movie buff, check out some highly rated films that will tug on your heart-strings. Spending time in nature is another good option; it can help you feel more alive and in touch with yourself. [6] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
Somatic experiencing therapy is similar to Focusing, where you focus on sensations in your body rather than thoughts and memories. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help you examine fixed thoughts and beliefs that may be preventing you from following your heart. Find a local therapist by clicking here.
For example, you can say “Hey, I feel like I’m not really following my heart in my life right now. I could really use someone to talk to about this. Would you be willing to help?”
Ask yourself, “is this what I truly want, or am I doing it for someone else in spite of myself?” There’s nothing wrong with being generous and doing things for other people, of course, but you’ve got to find a balance where you are being true to yourself when you are being kind and helping others. Otherwise, however good your intentions, you can easily burn out and lose your connection to your heart.
Avoid mistaking natural resistance and difficulty with this kind of greater resistance. It’s normal to feel disheartened sometimes, even if you’re on the right path for you. If you aren’t sure if you’re doing the right thing, try asking someone you trust, such as a close friend or family member.
Music. Try joining a choir or taking guitar lessons. Art. Take a painting class or learn how to sculpt. Dance. Enroll in a salsa class or even exercise-dancing classes at the gym. Drama. See if there’s any open theater groups around you that you can join. Acting is a great way to express your creativity.
Choose a topic and write it at the top of a piece of paper. The topic can be one word, like “travel,” or it can be a short statement, like “what I think about traveling. " Set a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and try to write about the topic without putting much thought into what you’re doing. Don’t plan ahead of time. The goal is to let your unconscious mind take over for you rather than letting the control center part of your brain hold the reins.
Sit in a comfortable, upright position. Get used to this position for a few minutes. Begin to pay attention to what’s going on in your experience. You will have a lot of stray thoughts, body sensations, and seemingly random emotional surges. Pay attention to all of these things and anything else that happens, doing your best to take a “curious” stance toward them, where you don’t need to react to them. Pretend you’re a scientist and you want to observe this experience without intervening. Once you’ve done this in a safe, quiet, sitting environment, you can try it in your daily life while you’re doing other things. [14] X Research source
