A simple smile or joke is an appropriate form of flirting, and doesn’t cross any professional lines. If she smiles back and goes along with it, you know she’s into it. Alternatively, if she seems standoffish and shuts it down, you know to back off without any embarrassment. [3] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
You both have at least one thing in common: work. Use it as a way to start a conversation. Just avoid petty gossip about co-workers. You want to come off as a positive person, not a downer. Also, avoid any inappropriate jokes. Keep things friendly and light.
If she misses a meeting or isn’t at work on a day you get new equipment or learn a new policy, bring her up to speed with some notes or a quick phone call. Again, you’ll be helping her out, but also showing her that you’re interested in her. Say something like, “I noticed you were out the other day, so I took down some notes during the meeting for you. ” You’ll be letting her know you notice when she’s not around, as well.
The next time you’re headed out for coffee, ask if she wants some. If she does, she’ll tell you her go-to order, and later on, you’ll know exactly what to get her. Plus, it’s yet another opportunity to express interest in her, give her a smile, and offer to do something nice while still staying professional.
Keep things professional, even when flirting. You can be flirtatious without touching her at all. Eye contact, smiles, and glances are just as effective as touching but don’t come with the possibility of coming off too forward or behaving inappropriately. You might also compliment her work ethic. Praise a project she did well recently. [8] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019. Keep things light and more on the prude side, just to be safe. Don’t make any sexual comments, or say anything that she might be offended by. These kinds of comments could lead to negative consequences like harassment suits or complaints filed against you with human resources.
When you ask her out for some one-on-one time, try to make it casual. Invite her as if you were going already, and decided to ask her along. It will seem a little less intimidating, as it will seem like less than a date. Say something like, “I was going to hit my favorite bar after work today for a drink or two. Want to come along?”
If you work in a place that has offices, desks, or cubicles, take a glance at hers as you walk by and see what sort of knick-knacks she has. These might also be hints to her interests, and you can use them as conversation starters.
Lunch is a great opportunity to have a conversation, break the ice, and get to know her a little better. If you take her someplace away from work, you’ll be away from the prying eyes of your co-workers, and things can be a little more casual and comfortable.
Dating and flirting in the workplace is tricky if you aren’t careful. Make sure you aren’t coming on too strong right away, and make sure you are reading her body language and signals to know whether or not she wants to reciprocate. [11] X Expert Source John KeeganDating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
Sometimes, policies like these only exist if the co-workers are on different levels. For example, it might be against the rules for a supervisor to date or pursue his subordinates. Other times, there are no policies in place regarding workplace romance at all. [13] X Research source
More often than not, gossip tends to circulate around workplaces. You don’t want to end up with a few ladies having bad things to say about you, and then everyone hearing about it. It could make your place of work a very unpleasant place to be.
Women are especially subjected to criticism when dating people in the workplace. Make sure you aren’t putting a female co-worker into a situation in which she could be negatively judged.
If she isn’t responding to your flirting, or if she shows signs of wanting you to stop, make sure you listen to your gut and don’t push things. If she feels harassed or threatened, she could file a sexual harassment complaint against you, or report you to a supervisor. If she seems uncomfortable or unreceptive when you flirt with her at work, talk to her after work. Apologize and explain yourself. You may find out that she was only shutting down your advances because you were at work. Read her signals and body language. If she shies away, or looks upset or irritated, back off.
Weigh the pros and cons of pursuing the girl at work before you do so. If the idea of things possibly going badly and resulting in an uncomfortable workplace doesn’t seem to outweigh the pros of pursuing the girl you like, then consider looking for someone outside of work.
